Bond: Dr. No

Most people have pegged November 4th as the most important day of the month and potentially in recent history. This would be something if Obama hadn't already wrapped things up, so I am looking forward, all the way forward to the next most important day in November, the 14th. On Friday the 14th, the United States of Barack will witness the unveiling of a real political hero, this one British, Mr. James Bond.

Quantum of Solace debuts this month and to prepare for the occasion, and thanks to the help of Comcast Cable On Demand (note: I will NEVER thank Comcast for anything else EVER) I am planning on running the gauntlet on the Bond films. Since I haven't seen an embarrassingly large number of the non-Brosnan 21 films, I'm starting from the first one and working my way through history. These Bond flicks in HD, along with more James Bond fun (here and here) will be my study prep for QOS. The following are the reports on each film, for those who don't have the time or those who liked SparkNotes in high school.



DR. NO (1962) watched 10/26/08

PREMISE:
Bond investigates a set of murders of British agents on the island of Jamaica. We meet Mr. Bond at a card table in England, winning hands, seducing women, and sexually harassing (in the cool way!) his secretary. Bond is clearly established as he is followed around by sketchy guy hiding behind newspaper at the airport, and tailed by a suspicious Hispanic driver in Jamaica.

Sean Connery as Bond is a weird image, since Connery exists in my head as Darrell Hammond on Saturday Night Live's Celebrity Jeopardy. This Connery is young, ripped, and has an admirable amount of chest hair. Dr. No treats to us 1960's delicacies such as those awesomely fake backgrounds during driving scenes, lame post-kill punchlines like "I think they were on their way to a funeral," and a lack of cool Bond gadgets we've come to expect. Connery is given a new gun and silencer before his trip to Jamaica and at one point uses the old hair-on-the-door-frame trick to check the security of his hotel room.

Bond comes across more as a womanizer (gets his first of three lays nine minutes in) and detective, than a true spy, in this first chapter. The movie follows him as he tracks down the suspects and narrowly escapes CERTAIN DEATH, and by certain death a mean a planted tarantula in his bed, a sniper near miss, and a car chase on a cliff. Except for a three minute vent escape late in the film, there aren't many lulls.

THE BOND GIRL:

Ursula Andress played Honey Ryder, a sweet and innocent sea-shell searcher on Dr. No's Crab Key (Sound FX: spooky piano chord). Crab Key is like a mix between the Others' hideout on LOST and Bowser's Castle, if they existed during the Cold War. Our hero meets Honey Ryder on his Jamaican justice odyssey. It's the cliched story of love: she gets in the way and sets the radar off, he saves her from the potentially exploding missile factory, and the two end up creating their own happy ending in a rowboat.

Here's what you need to know, Honey Ryder is a ridiculously gorgeous, easily corruptible groupie. She is everything that is right about Bond girls: she is ludiciously hot (don't know if I mentioned that yet), doesn't steal his spotlight, and has that sneaky bed-hopping candor. She is definitely worth risking life and limb for and I would give her a double-0-nine out of ten.

WHAT TO TAKE AWAY:

Chapter one was overall a real winner. Bond is set up as a real hero to the audience. There is little he can't talk, fight, or drive his way out of. Women, like the villains are no match for 007's slick and sly ways. For a first time watcher, there are many familiar scenes and motifs thanks to the Austin Powers trilogy. Its not a masterpiece, but its a strong start for the Bond series.