Cowboys- Maybe Jerry Jones and I are alone in this, but these guys have too much talent not to be relevant in January.
Giants- They don't seem scary, but they kinda are; Eli doesn't seem good, but he kinda is.
Steelers- Surviving injuries and barely escaping games early and with their next four games
being tough, they could find themselves a couple catergories lower next go-around.Bills- Poor man's Titans (see Titans below) in an ACL-ripped division.
Titans- The best running game and the best defense in the league makes you forget the fossil standing under center.
THE SCRAPPY: Eagles, Packers, Jaguars, Bears, Cardinals, Bucs, Panthers
Eagles- They alternate showing up and not showing up, but had a bye week to straighten it out.
Packers- Can't count out a team in Lambau with a studly, bruising defense, just like you can't count out a petty former Packers quarterback dominating the headlines.
Jaguars- Really not deserving of faith, but they'll cakewalk through five of the next six weeks.
Bears- Another team with a "good enough" QB, a strong defense, and a crappy division.
Cardinals- Larry Fitzgerald is the best receiver in the league, and the only one who doesn't whine.
Bucs- Their defense is so manly, it makes up for their quarterback's not-so-manliness (just kidding he's got a much much hotter wife than anyone in the NFL, Tom Brady included).
Panthers- Maybe the most well rounded team in the claustrophobic NFC South.
SO YOU'RE SAYING THERE'S A CHANCE: Colts, Broncos, Patriots, Chargers, Ravens, Saints, Redskins, Falcons
Colts- I can't figure out if the Colts will make the playoffs, but you don't your team to play them there.
Broncos- Not a resume I would want to bring to a job interview.
Patriots- Don't be down about the Rodney Harrison injury; he was about as an effective safety option as Bristol Palin's birth control.
Chargers- Someone needs to tell them that this isn't study hall, they MUST show up every week.
Ravens- Impressive rebound from last year but they can't beat good teams.
Saints- A true enigma week in and out, they win and lose in baffling fashion.
Redskins- Most people don't value them this low, but most people don't have to trough through their games every week on TV.
Falcons- Ryan, Turner, Smith and other the other generic last name new editions are righting the Vick-Ship.
THE SCRAP HEAPS: Browns, Vikings, Jets, Texans, Seahawks, Dolphins
Browns- Like everyone else, they should just blame it on the economic crisis.
Vikings- Too many players on the team who aren't Adrian Peterson.
Jets- When you put an ugly girl in a pretty dress it doesn't change her from being an ugly girl.
Texans- Its my opinion that Gary Kubiak should be the next coach to go; Texans have too much talent to support the way they play.
Seahawks- Superbowl runners-up two years ago, a playoff win last year, and now one win in seven weeks; this team is needs a Red Bull or something.
Dolphins- That wildcat formation is too gimmicky to take seriously, yet keeps them above the stink.
PLAYING FOR A DRAFT PICK: Bengals, Raiders, 49ers, Chiefs, Lions, Rams
Bengals- A joke I heard- "The Bengals are like possums, they play dead at home and get killed on the road."
Raiders- Al Davis goes through head coaches like fantasy football owners go through kickers.
49ers- Another year where I wish the Patriots owned the rights to the 49ers lottery pick.
Chiefs- LJ spits in a woman's face, Tony Gonzalez DOES ask to be traded; nothing goes right in KC.
Rams- Just assuming Jim Haslett's 2-0 record is a modern day example of beginners' luck.
Lions- Since the Dolphins couldn't go 0-16 last year, these Lions could be the chosen ones.
No comments:
Post a Comment