Not Not Untitled Field Trip: GW vs. Tennessee Women's Basketball

There were only 3 reasons you could have possibly held a ticket to the George Washington vs. Univ. of Tennessee hoops game tonight: 1) You didn't see the word 'Women's' across the top 2) You are a massive connoisseur of sport 3) You are a lesbian. There simply aren't any other reasons you would have attended the game. However, all those who didn't fit into those three categories (and for the record, I consider myself apart of group 2 but maintain fan-dom of group 3) missed a shockingly and thoroughly unexpected experience.

To start, let me explain that I am an alum of GW and still live relatively proximate to the campus. Furthermore, I live, work, and dream sports so getting a chance to see Pat Summitt (and by association the Lady Vols) was somewhere between a 'must' and a 'Tuesday is a horrible television night.' I wasn't expecting much in terms of points, or excitement, or even fun, but as a sports fan it was my duty to observe a living legend. So I joined up with my GW hoops friends (we all own men's seasons tickets together) and bundled up to brave the cold, mysterious frontier that is DC winter weather and women's college basketball.

Getting to our seats was a challenge in itself. We had to wade through a sea of lesbians. There were enough lesbians (not that there is anything wrong with them) to spawn an softball team, nay, softball league. These lesbians were orange-clad, she-mullet (can we just call them mull-ettes?) coiffed, and boisterous; not the lesbian type privy to IMDB profiles littered with Skinemax cameos.

Speaking of Skinemax, Tennessee's best player is a freshman with a body for basketball success and a name for porn stardom. Let me introduce you to 6'3" Glory Johnson. She is a beast on the court and definitely the next big thing in women's hoops (assuming Candace Parker was the last big thing or that there has ever been a big thing in women's hoops). She rebounds over everyone, sets monstrous picks, and can score against guards or centers. The next time you're at a dinner party and the conversation turns to ladies hoops, drop her name and wow your friends; it's a cant miss.

Meanwhile a funny thing happened on the way to this game being a snoozer, GW showed up to play. Though down eight at halftime, the Colonials brought Pat Summitt and the crowd to their feet on many occasions in the second half. It may not be admirable but I can admit to standing, cheering, screaming (?!?!) for G-Dub to get a few more stops during a run where we brought the deficit to two points before missing a wide open lay up to tie the game. Go figure.

Pat Summitt has 989 career wins and for many reasons I was hoping to be able to say I hadn't seen one of them. Alas I left the gym with a surprising sense of entertainment and re-evaluation of women's sports on the whole. Will I go back to another women's game this year? Its highly unlikely, but even if its one in a million, I'm saying there's a chance.