5 Things to Take Away from the Oscars

The Oscars are a big deal to many a folk in the movie and fashion bizzes... but to me it sorta seems like a four hour wait for validation of your movie taste. The beauty of a four hour telecast is that there are inevitably highlights; four hours of Celebrity Apprentice 2 would eventually yield a golden nugget or two... its like the whole monkeys writing Shakespeare thing. Anyway, here are five things that left an impression on me last night.

1) I fell in love. Now my friends will verify that I echo this sentiment about once a week, but I think I mean it this time (not like last week at trivia, or two weeks before that at the Bruce Cover Band). Ryan Seacrest introduced me to Meryl Streep's stunning daughter, Louisa, on the red carpet last night. Sure Wikipedia says she was born in 1991 but love doesn't know math (that holds up in court right?). This is a girl right in my wheelhouse too (brunette girl next door, except her door is to a mansion and a meal ticket). Our relationship went past the red carpet as Louisa had a front row seat next to mommy, meaning lots of camera time all night. In 10 years I won't remember what Meryl was nominated for or if she won, but I will definitely remember her best supporting role.

(Honorable mentions of the night: Natalie Portman looked quit-everything-and-marry-me hot, Marisa Tomei was a knockout, Freida Pinto can do no wrong, and Taraji P. Henson was classically beautiful.)

2) The best presenters of the night were Natalie Portman and Ben Stiller. Natalie brought the aforementioned visuals and Ben took care of the laughs. Last night Stiller brought his Joaquin Phoenix out to play, but he has an arsenal of other impressions and comedic tools too. Couldn't Stiller go on for hours? If Billy Crystal (automatic first seed) doesn't want back in as host, Stiller HAS to be at the top of the short list of desired hosts (my list also has Neil Patrick Harris, Ellen, Tina Fey, and Will Ferrell).

3) The new way they presented the awards for the four acting categories was a homerun. The whole "just being nominated is a honor" thing we get every year has finally been validated. Just getting nominated isn't really an honor, but getting verbally felayshed by an expert certainly is. Losing to Kate Winslet probably would have been a bitter moment for Jolie, Streep and company if they hadn't been showered in praise by former winners. I don't know or care who wrote the plaudits but they were sincere, meaningful, and awards in themselves (that is unless Alan Arkin calls you Seymour Philip Hoffman, nice prep work ass). Maybe its not a tangible award but you're definitely going home with a souvenir.

4) Hugh Jackman's musical number with Beyonce has showed up on many worst of lists, but I thought it was a fun moment. The Academy put together montages for the romances and comedies of the year, so why not honor musicals too? I doubt Jackman's grand proclamation "The musical is back!" but I enjoyed the rest. I guess this is my public admission that I kinda, sorta, maybe like musicals (I even saw Mamma Mia in the theaters, but it was on a date... and yes, with a girl) not that there's anything wrong with that.

5) And speaking of "not that there's anything wrong with that," I think the lasting memory of the night, besides Louisa Streep of course, was the political statements and validation delivered with the wins of Milk. Best Actor Sean Penn and best original screenwriter Dusin Lance Black delivered proud, rousing speeches about the inequalities we still face in two drastically different tones. Black called for gay people to stand up proud, that they could all share this victory, while Penn scolded California's failed Prop 8 and the populous for a lack of justice. Maybe these words will spark political action and discourse or maybe they will just be tracks to nowhere, but methinks it will be the former. Eventually Slumdog Millionaire's prestige will fade just like most other best picture winners, but Milk's legacy on Oscar night may be a watershed moment we all remember.