Wipeout!!

I couldn't be a bigger fan of the show Wipeout right now and I have only seen one episode. Its like falling in love on the first date (I assume). We all know the stigma of summer television... keeping the dating metaphor, you could call it the rebound fling after a break up (spring's season finales), and this show knocks it out of the park. The creators of Wipeout knew what we wanted from this relationship, knew what we didn't want, and just delivered. Its not brilliant, its not revolutionary, its not even very original, but it is self-aware, and in this case, that's the most important thing.

This self-awareness is the beauty of Wipeout. It offers the things we are all looking for in our summer television fling: people making asses out of themselves, a little bit of humor, a few good looking women, little emotional involvement, and the ability to miss episodes without being in trouble.

Specifically, here's what the show does right.

1) People get destroyed. Sure this show is basically a rip off of Most Extreme Elimination Challenge, but it somehow brings even more thunder. The carnage is awesome. Its not like seeing the remains of a car accident on the highway; its like seeing the actual collision. These people don't stand a chance. Of the events I saw tonight, there was the wall players traversed while boxing gloves punched them in the face, neck, and even places below the belt. There were those infamous big red balls that players tried to bounce across, but never could. There was a rotating hurdle jump from a platform, a spinning machine before a sprint on an unbalanced surface, and a fresh look at a timeless classic, the rope swing.

Even when the hits didn't look as vicious, the contestants still went flying. And here's the cherry on the top, the minds behind our new summer friend have even one-upped MXC by cutting out all the filler in between big hits. They even edit down all of the boring stuff and basically bring you the low-light highlights for the first 15 minutes. This show is the crab cake without all the breading; its all meat, no filler.

2) The announcers don't over-do it. I never thought I'd say these words unless I was selling hair-dye at WalMart but, "Welcome back John Henson." You may remember him from being moderately funny on E!'s Talk Soup, and from being the guy, who like Derek Zoolander couldn't turn right, or else you'd get that nasty profile look at his Ms. Toper skunk spot (by the way, who was less likely to ever be thought of again, John Henson or Ms. Toper). Henson and co-host John Anderson (one of the best anchors on Sportscenter) match snarky and fresh one-liners over the endless bloopers. Unlike MXC they don't jump the shark because they let the follies drive the show and seem to be content riding shotgun. Even sideline reporter Jill Wagner delivers the occasional joke, some outstanding reactions to the contestants' goofs, and is even sneaky foxy (you'll thank me later).

3) The challenges overshadow the challengers. No one cares about rooting for the players in this game, and the producers know it. Most of the contestants are boring, which doesn't matter, because if we wanted to see people win we wouldn't be watching a show called Wipeout. What is important is that the challenges are actually hard. I don't see how anyone will ever get past a few of the obstacles and I don't really want to see that anyway. The goofier and the more turbulent, the better and for the few fortunate (only in the sense that they get $50k for winning) players, the and even zanier final looms.

The final challenge looks like it would be fun... if you were a navy seal or enjoyed bruising. I wont even describe the kinds of ridiculousness that ensues but its safe to say that it looks like its just an 'elephant walk' short of the worst hazing imaginable. Picture the lame-ass 'Eliminator' at the end of the new American Gladiators and imagine it to be more creative, more difficult, and more satisfying.

One way to spruce up the show, or at least legitimize it, would be if they could somehow get professional athletes to try out the events. Imagine Reggie Bush Kobe Bryant, Ichiro, Justin Gatlin, Alton from RW/RR Challenge and other super-freak athletes challenge each other to feats of most useless athleticism. Or at least watching them get beat up by preposterous competitions. I can't imagine a show I wouldn't end up DVR-ing to watch that play out.

Maybe you haven't yet had a chance to see the show (it premiered this week), but if you watched the NBA Playoffs or really any show on ABC/ESPN in the last couple months, you saw the commercials. And let me say that the episodes are even better (for the moment disregard the fact that I may have formal ties to the ABC/ESPN family). C'mon, just trust me. If this hasn't been enough of an over-sell, let me tell you that the show ended with John Henson saying "From all of us, good night and big balls." Consider me hooked.

Why So Serious?

There's a growing trend in sitcoms and I'm taking a stand.


Last night How I Met Your Mother, currently clubhouse leader for sitcoms, ended its season with a proposal from Ted Mosby, its lead character. If that wasn't enough, Barney, legen-DARY womanizer, decided to fall in love with Robin. In fact, the last few episodes of HIMYM, followed a "lets get serious about relationships" arc that I don't much care for. I know the show is eventually headed down a path towards marriage (as we figure out who the mother is) but unless the producers are only figuring one more season, I think they are jumping the gun here.


Take a look back to recent sitcoms and how the whole "Lets marry off our funny/cool/interesting" characters and see how it goes:

• Friends- Lambaste the show if you want, but when critics and ratings are both so strongly in favor, its useless to dissent. In a mostly post-Seinfeld sitcom world, Friends was king. It had a simple premise, great writing, and outstanding character relationships... that was until the dreaded season 7 finale, The One with Chandler and Monica's Wedding. This watershed moment changed all of the chemistry and dynamics of the group. The Joey-Chandler relationship was dunzo. The Monica and the girls relationship, c'est la vie. Chandler was less snarky, not as nebbish, and stopped goofing around, all the things that made him great. Instead of 6 friends hanging out, episodes would be 3 sets of 2 friends and their "hilarious" hijinx.

• Scrubs- From season 2 until season 6, Scrubs was my favorite show because Bill Lawrence, the show creator and lead writer, found a way to be goofy and light-hearted while telling some serious hospital stories. Scrubs was my favorite 30-minutes of the week during this time, as it delivered almost every week. The JD and Turk friendship (best shown in the My Musical episode Guy Love song) was genuine and fresh and wasn't spoiled by Turk's serious relationship, because Lawrence made sure that for Turk, JD always came first. However, Lawrence couldn't stay true to guy love once Turk and Carla had a baby (Season 6 aka the Tipping Point) and at this point, Scrubs' tomfoolery and witty shenanigans took a backseat to the serious reality of being a parent. Since then, and through this season's finale, Scrubs has become borderline unwatchable. Turk isn't fun loving anymore, JD has also recently become a father also and **SPOILER ALERT** he stinks now too. (I never thought I'd say this but Braff's JD character is a distant fourth to JD Drew, JD Salinger, and Jack Daniels on the "My Favorite JD's" list. For the record, it's still ahead of JDate.)

• The Office- Everyone who watches. loves almost every character, from Michael to Dwight to Kelly (who has been the best character all year). However when it comes to favorites, most people really care about Pam and Jim. That's also why most people are stupid. Go back and watch episodes from the first three seasons and remember how cool Jim was (a foil to Dwight, the rampant office pranks, the nerdy sexual tension we could all relate to). Picture Jim now, whining to clients on a golf course, stinking at ping pong, and seriously caring about his job. All I know is if 2005 Jim met 2008 Jim in a dark Scranton parking lot, 2005 Jim would kick his ass (or least put his stapler in a jello mold and posted a Reward Poster for his missing cahones). Now lame relationship Jim spends his work time working... BORING.

This isn't some sort of brilliant realization I've had, its art imitating life. Everyone knows how much worse friends become when they get serious girlfriends. Suddenly they cant get black out drunk, play video games until substantial thumb injury, or frequent the gentleman's establishments anymore. Same goes for sitcom characters; once the woman in their life is locked down, there is no more delicate balance. They can't continue to be a cool guy and navigate through a successful relationship. Seinfeld never made Jerry or George get serious and it never lost its way. Half of sitcom is comedy, and writers should remember that more often; I don't want to lose How I Met Your Mother, like I lost all the others, to a needy girlfriend.