Top 10 Things of the First Half of Summer (June - Mid July)

Summer is half over and I haven't left DC much, but that doesn't mean it hasn't been good. In my 5th straight DC summer, I have been introduced to some new things, found some other gems on my own, and re-established contact with a couple other old favorites. Here's the top 10 things of the summer, part 1, as I've embraced them chronologically.


MLB Extra Innings Package
Technically I had this in April and May but it has been my second favorite thing on TV (not counting Around the Horn) these days. For those keeping score at home, first thing not technically a summer thing, we're a rocky start but... Not only can I watch Red Sox games nightly, but I can also check in with my fantasy baseball crushes like Evan Longoria and Geovanny Soto at the same time. I used to get excited to watch the hometown NESN feed, but that "gift" has become more of a pandora's box with the ®emdog at the helm. Still, summer feels more like summer with the Sox on in the background during dinner.

Beer Softball
So I've played in a bunch of intramural leagues in DC since graduating (kickball, a few basketball leagues) but this was my first softball experience. Going in I knew about half the players on the team and assumed my skill level might be enough to get by; basically just hoped that the entire experience was decent. Turns out its been the highlight of the summer. I get to look forward to some good, healthy competition and subsequent weekday belligerence once a week. The games are fun and the teammates even better (one guy bagged a 46-year old cougar postgame!). We take turns bringing 30's to the field like soccer moms bringing oranges on gamedays. What could be bad?

Leinenkugels
I have to give all the credit here to my roommate Meghan, who introduced me to the citrus-y goodness of Leinenkugels Sunset Wheat Beer. This may have displaced Sam Summer Ale for official beer of summer. I am not sure what the circulation of this beer is but I feel like if this is all you get from me this year, it will be well worth plodding through the rest of my crap. I've even included the logo here for you too find it at the local watering hole. If you like Blue Moon, there is no question this is for you. Go buy a six-pack and I promise you'll like it and if not, I will take the rest off your hands.

Tacklebox
Tacklebox is also a Meghan pearl of wisdom, and for those who don't know about it, its a new restaurant in Georgetown. Basically its like every little clam shack on the way to the Cape, but with a Georgetown attitude, decor, and price (nobody's perfect). I've only been once, but based on reviews by others, I can vouch for it. First of all, best french fries in DC. Secondly, great lobster roll, great friend clam roll, and awesome asparagus (that's all I've had there). No doubt that the summer Cape feeling is part of the glory at 3245 M St.

HBO's Movie Line Up
Oceans 13, Knocked Up, The Simpsons Movie, Shrek the Third, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix are just a few of the many premiers HBO has given us so far this summer. They're calling it the Billion-Dollar or Million-Dollar Summer or something and so far its lived up to the billing, whatever it is. These movies don't replace the absence of summer regular Entourage, but are perfect for hung over Saturdays, a staple thus far. I like Ocean's 13 the most so far but just having the options make Netflix seem unnecessary.

Pat Green
Most people know Pat Green for singing "Wave on Wave," a country music radio standard and generally awesome tune. My love for "Wave" fooled me to getting tickets for a Pat Green concert at a small venue near my apartment, before I realized I only knew a couple other songs. Thanks to a CD from my brother played on repeat for a couple weeks, I ended up getting into Pat Green in a big way. "Baby Doll", "Cannonball", and "Texas in My Mind" are all rated 5-stars on my iPod now. Granted I dont remember most of the show (consider me THAT DRUNK GUY) and I can't remember what songs he played, I also can't remember not having an awesome time... did that make sense?

Bringing Back Asshole

This old favorite entered my life again during the Pat Green night, you could even convince me he opened for Pat. We also got a game going July 4th, and a few blurry times in between. Let's face it: there was a reason we learned this card game first. It was the most fun and the easiest way to go from sober to stumbling without a funnel. Asshole makes me think of high school summer nights just like McGolf and the Industrial Park basketball court.

Angelina Jolie's Semi-Nude Scene in Wanted
I can't find a screenshot on google no matter how much I search... and I've searched enough that carpal tunnel might be a looming issue. This partial picture is the best I could do for you. But between that scene and the insane action scenes (Wanted is like The Matrix in how revolutionary it is compared to its predecesors) this movie is worth deferring student loans so you can afford a ticket and then come back for a few encores. That is if you like lower back tattoos, breath-taking heinies, and crazy shoot-em up scenes.

Wipeout

The answer to the question: what is my favorite thing on TV these days? See this entry. Since then things have only gotten better.

The New Nationals Stadium

It's just a quick green line trek from my hood (road soda recommended) to the ballpark, and a five dollar ticket will get you through the gate and your choice of 30,000 unclaimed seats. With a monstrous HD jumbo-tron, more food choices than a cruiseship, and the possibility of a no hitter every game thanks to National League offense, you can't go wrong. The park has received a little too much early praise but it is a great park with even more potential. And even though the Nats suck, they keep the capacity and ticket prices manageable for us young professionals who have no money left because we spent it on beer at the park the last time we came. Seven fifty for a beer? I guess they lost their "privilege" to sell High Life.

Wipeout!!

I couldn't be a bigger fan of the show Wipeout right now and I have only seen one episode. Its like falling in love on the first date (I assume). We all know the stigma of summer television... keeping the dating metaphor, you could call it the rebound fling after a break up (spring's season finales), and this show knocks it out of the park. The creators of Wipeout knew what we wanted from this relationship, knew what we didn't want, and just delivered. Its not brilliant, its not revolutionary, its not even very original, but it is self-aware, and in this case, that's the most important thing.

This self-awareness is the beauty of Wipeout. It offers the things we are all looking for in our summer television fling: people making asses out of themselves, a little bit of humor, a few good looking women, little emotional involvement, and the ability to miss episodes without being in trouble.

Specifically, here's what the show does right.

1) People get destroyed. Sure this show is basically a rip off of Most Extreme Elimination Challenge, but it somehow brings even more thunder. The carnage is awesome. Its not like seeing the remains of a car accident on the highway; its like seeing the actual collision. These people don't stand a chance. Of the events I saw tonight, there was the wall players traversed while boxing gloves punched them in the face, neck, and even places below the belt. There were those infamous big red balls that players tried to bounce across, but never could. There was a rotating hurdle jump from a platform, a spinning machine before a sprint on an unbalanced surface, and a fresh look at a timeless classic, the rope swing.

Even when the hits didn't look as vicious, the contestants still went flying. And here's the cherry on the top, the minds behind our new summer friend have even one-upped MXC by cutting out all the filler in between big hits. They even edit down all of the boring stuff and basically bring you the low-light highlights for the first 15 minutes. This show is the crab cake without all the breading; its all meat, no filler.

2) The announcers don't over-do it. I never thought I'd say these words unless I was selling hair-dye at WalMart but, "Welcome back John Henson." You may remember him from being moderately funny on E!'s Talk Soup, and from being the guy, who like Derek Zoolander couldn't turn right, or else you'd get that nasty profile look at his Ms. Toper skunk spot (by the way, who was less likely to ever be thought of again, John Henson or Ms. Toper). Henson and co-host John Anderson (one of the best anchors on Sportscenter) match snarky and fresh one-liners over the endless bloopers. Unlike MXC they don't jump the shark because they let the follies drive the show and seem to be content riding shotgun. Even sideline reporter Jill Wagner delivers the occasional joke, some outstanding reactions to the contestants' goofs, and is even sneaky foxy (you'll thank me later).

3) The challenges overshadow the challengers. No one cares about rooting for the players in this game, and the producers know it. Most of the contestants are boring, which doesn't matter, because if we wanted to see people win we wouldn't be watching a show called Wipeout. What is important is that the challenges are actually hard. I don't see how anyone will ever get past a few of the obstacles and I don't really want to see that anyway. The goofier and the more turbulent, the better and for the few fortunate (only in the sense that they get $50k for winning) players, the and even zanier final looms.

The final challenge looks like it would be fun... if you were a navy seal or enjoyed bruising. I wont even describe the kinds of ridiculousness that ensues but its safe to say that it looks like its just an 'elephant walk' short of the worst hazing imaginable. Picture the lame-ass 'Eliminator' at the end of the new American Gladiators and imagine it to be more creative, more difficult, and more satisfying.

One way to spruce up the show, or at least legitimize it, would be if they could somehow get professional athletes to try out the events. Imagine Reggie Bush Kobe Bryant, Ichiro, Justin Gatlin, Alton from RW/RR Challenge and other super-freak athletes challenge each other to feats of most useless athleticism. Or at least watching them get beat up by preposterous competitions. I can't imagine a show I wouldn't end up DVR-ing to watch that play out.

Maybe you haven't yet had a chance to see the show (it premiered this week), but if you watched the NBA Playoffs or really any show on ABC/ESPN in the last couple months, you saw the commercials. And let me say that the episodes are even better (for the moment disregard the fact that I may have formal ties to the ABC/ESPN family). C'mon, just trust me. If this hasn't been enough of an over-sell, let me tell you that the show ended with John Henson saying "From all of us, good night and big balls." Consider me hooked.