Brett Fraud-re

I'm past the point of wishing death to everyone in New York City and getting the blog scoped out by the Department of Homeland Security, and up to the second stage of Patriots Football Grief, wishing death just to key NY Jets personnel, particularly Brett Favre.

Here's the thing, I didn't learn anything from yesterday's debacle. We knew the Patriots were better than the Bills. We knew the Dolphins were better than the Jets and knew the Ravens were better than the god-awful Jaguars. We knew Brett Favre was ancient and unreliable, like sundials or chivalry. Plus, I think deep down inside we all knew that losing in overtime at home to the Jets would come back to bite eventually.

But that doesn't mean we don't have the right to be mad. Yesterday's performance by the Patriots in the wind was herculean, with Matt Cassel getting his Bill Paxton on, passing and punting into a twister I expected to see a cow or a trailer fly through. He and the defense took care of business the best they could. Unfortunately we had to depend on a team so horrible that by 6PM its fans were rooting against themselves

And as bad as the Jets defense was (more Swiss than cheese really), Brett Favre was epically putrid. He had a trilogy of interceptions, each worse than the one before. It was like The Mummy of quarterback performances. The first deep ball was not horrible but had me wishing I hadn't seen it. The second pass I couldn't believe anyone would make. Favre threw to a receiver he couldn't see because he was hiding behind the massive defensive lineman who ended up catching, running and scoring. The third pick was a walk off interception. We walked out before it was all over, nothing was said.

The second and third picks were Chicago Black Sox interceptions... ones that make you question allegiances and motives. Ones that give the censors of your brain the hour off and you spew hate at Brett Favre and his shoulder and his family and even his performance in There's Something About Mary. Its wishing aloud for news stories of the Jets team plane crashing, or a stampede of fans leaving the Meadowlands resulting in a massacre of turncoat Jets fans. Yesterday we spent more than an hour discussing whether kidnapping his daughter was the best way to send a message. That is the aforementioned first stage of grief.

Now I'm only wishing for news about Favre's shoulder injury being a malignant tumor that requires amputation. That is my second stage. I assume the next stage becomes an even lesser degree of rage, one where Eric Mangini's job is some sort of acceptable collateral damage. But currently I can't imagine when that day will come.

But that douzy of a third stage (and whatever lies beyond that... maybe the whole forth or fifth "There's always next year" stage) won't be hastened by all the things that remind me of Favre; its like trying to get over an old girlfriend. Whenever I hear Madden verbally felate Brett Fav-rah's warrior mentality, or he inevitable skips of the Pro-Bowl (really?!?! Favre's 22/22/81 rtg over Cassel's 21/11/89.4 or Pennington's 19/7/97.4 or Rivers' 34/11/105.5), or the months of will he/won't comeback rumors, it will be a remind of the pain.

Here's the dirty little secret in it all: Brett Favre sucks. Maybe not always, maybe not even most of last year, but those days have passed and now he just sucks. He ruined the Patriots' somehow under-dog season, he ruined the Jets for a few years to come, he ruined Mike Smith's chances at coach of the year (he's lead blocking for Sparano now) and he ruined his own name.

He has almost as many shameful records as celebrated ones, lets talk about those. 22 interceptions led the league this year, and don't pretend they weren't in crunchtime. Lets talk about his backstabbing of Green Bay and don't pretend he didn't also force the hand of the Jets front office. He ruined Cameron Diaz, Wrangler Jeans, and the number 4, for me. I'm even finding myself questioning that awesomely groomed yet somewhat unrefined facial stubble. Basically my world is shattered. I hate you Brett Favre.

End of an Error

So I opened up a newspaper today. I don't make a regular practice of this, like 98% of regular people, because I get my news online, or on TV. The actual reason I opened up the paper today was because I was bored at work and looking for a Sudoku, so I grabbed the Washington Post Style Section. For those not acclimated to the Post's Style section, its the name of their Arts section and is "Section C." Anyway, the cover of the Style Section today has a glowing article on Amy Adams, one of the stars of Doubt. Under Amy Adams (= an enviable place) and under the fold (= death in newspapers) I happened to stumble across this little gem.

"WUSA Moves to One- Person News Crews."

For those who don't want to read the whole article, let me USA Today it for you: Basically the Washington DC local CBS affiliate doesn't have enough money to keep sending out reporters with camera crews when covering stories and are cutting back. They are cutting the cameramen and starting to hire people who can be news one-man-bands, thus lowering the quality of the reporting and production in order to save salaries. As if local television news could get worse at reporting and production.

The thing about this story is that its a micro version of a macro problem, that started with newspapers and has clearly spread like a cancer to its next host, local TV. Washington DC is the seventh largest media market in the country so I can only imagine what kinds of changes and cutbacks are in store for everywhere else that isn't NYC, LA, Chicago, San Fran, Philly, and Dallas. This has to be the beginning of a bigger problem, and with media folk holding the magnifying glass, it will be a problem that won't be under-reported.

Today's media unwritten rule seems to be "Go big or go home." This is the case as media conglomerates such as ESPN, CNN, Bloomberg, and the networks have undergone many fewer cutbacks and curtailments than smaller operations. If you aren't with the "bigs" than literally the idea of going home has two meanings. Either get laid off as jobs are cut everywhere from the technical or editorial side of things, or go home and blog, or become one of the many mo-jos (mobile journalists) that are much more attractive hires. That means learning new skills like how to operate the camera, write a news story, shoot the news story, and edit the news story by yourself, sacrificing some integrity with each step along the way (the article admits that a few places that tried mo-jos have backtracked due to the shoddiness of the final product).

I know both people who are employed in this way and who were employed in this way and I can say first hand that the drop-off between this product and a regular story is severe (think '07 Patriots to the Brady-less '08 Pats). So I say to local television media, "Hi, welcome to the life boat. You may want to sit a little closer to newspapers because we're expecting full occupancy."

Oh yeah and if you don't think newspapers are doomed, try this on for size. The Dallas Morning News and Fort Worth Star Telegram, two rival newspapers in media market #6, either will soon or have started sharing beat writers. Detroit's two biggest newspapers (media market #10) are getting a tummy-tuck and a non-daily home delivery schedule. There's too many more examples to cite, but I think we all get it by now.

NFL Playoff Run- Wizard of Oz Edition

And down the stretch they come!! Three weeks of NFL regular season left and there are a lot of contenders and really no outright favorite. Last year the Pats were Vegas (almost) mortal locks; they were something like 1:2 favorites to win the Superbowl before the playoffs started.

This year no one has separated themselves, no one seems invincible, no one doesn't have a somewhat glaring weakness. In that sense, this years playoff race is setting up like a current day, roided up version of The Wizard of Oz only without any munchkins, unless you count Bob Costas. Anyway, like Dorothy and her ragtag friends, each of this years contenders needs to find something on their journey to make that next step to reach the end. Lets review the 10 biggest contenders (according to ESPN's NFL Power Rankings) and their needs:

10) Patriots- The Patriots biggest problem has been consistency, a weird problem for a team with such solid coaching. Mostly its due to the age of their defense, injuries that make you question if there is a God, and every team's desire to avenge F-U touchdowns and Spygate leftovers. A few blowout wins, a few blowout losses (all to potential playoff teams) create no genuine identity of the team. As truly unlikely as it seems, if the Pats can gain some semblance of consistency, their skill and experience can carry them to a few vics.

9) Cardinals- The Cardinals, like Matt Leinart's sex life, can seemingly score in droves. Somehow Kurt Warner is concussion free this year and the Cards have the best wideout tandem in years. They are 7-1 on the West Coast and 1-3 in other timezones. More than anything they need an antidote to the road woes, some road identity. Likely ending up in the three seed in the NFC, the Cards could have to travel to New York or Carolina (again and again) , and be able to perform away from the desert.

8) Cowboys- Like the Lion in WoO the Cowboys are in desperate need of some heart. They may not be as cowardly as the Lion but any team with Terrell Owens, Pacman Jones, Jessica Simpson's boyfriend, and a pair of Roy Williams' will be lacking in the heady departments. Most recently owner Jerry Jones called out beastly running back Marion Barber and his manliness, because that ever works. The Cowboys will have a tough road ahead, mostly on the road, but their skill won't fail them. If/when the Cowboys falter, you can bet it will be a mental mistake.

7) Ravens- The Ravens may be the un-Cowboys. Heart they've got, and plenty of it, from vets slash accused murderers like Ray Lewis to the brazen rookie Joe Flacco. The Ravens need what the Cowboys have in spades, some raw skill. If their receivers are sitting coach class, their running backs are stuck in the bathroom because the food-cart is outside the door. Defense is a symptom common to Super Bowl championships but talent shines in January although the 2000 Ravens had NO Pro Bowlers on offense, so forget we had this discussion.

6) Buccaneers- Its hard to tell what the Bucs need because its hard to tell what the really do Bucs well. They have a pretty good defense, experienced and decent options at QB and RBs, and receivers that deserve lauding. A list of their strengths aren't so potently strong. They don't overwhelm you anywhere and aren't mistake-prone (Garcia only 3 INTs), they sort of just float on unsuspecting. That doesn't work in the playoffs and this team needs to show up, and create an image for themselves. Do they want to be the decent at everything, outstanding at nothing team that plays one playoff game? Time for Chucky to put his team infront of a mirror and find some answers.

5) Colts- I have been correctly called out for a gambling crush on the 2008 Colts, one that hasn't yielded many happy finishes. Let's be clear, having won six in a row or not, the 08 Colts aren't the Colts we are used to. They don't make big plays, they are run first, and don't blow out teams. Sure they can still score, but mostly our old nemeses (really who ever liked the Colts) are getting older. Marvin Harrison scares no one, Reggie Wayne lost a step, Dallas Clark's concussions have finally taken their toll, and the walking commercial reel is not the steady-handed surgeon we used to fear. The Colts need a breath of fresh air to rejuvenate some of these familiar vets.

4) Panthers- Anyone who watched the Panthers evisceration of the Bucs last night on MNF saw something scary. Running for 300 yards and four TDs against a team who had allowed one rushing TD all year speaks for itself. Their defense, like the two-headed running game, went from sneaky-good to flat-out-good before our eyes last night. One glaring hole for the Panthers is perhaps their most visible player, Jake Delhomme. He stinks worse than Sex Panther (26th in passer rating, 17th in yards passing, 25th in comp%) and their running game can only hide him for so long. Its too late to get a QB, but they need one nonetheless.

3) Steelers- The Steelers have courage, skill, experience, defense, offense, and the list goes on. They beat bad teams, they beat good teams. Overall this may be the most well rounded team, but are still a team with one legitimate problem. Big Ben, Willie Parker, Heath Miller, LaMarr Woodley have all missed games due to injuries. They need to get healthy but future slugfests with the Ravens and Titans won't help things. The Steelers grind out wins so there is no let up on the horizon.

2) Giants- What a couple weeks for the Giants? From knocking off the Steelers and convincing everyone that the Superbowl went through the Meadowlands, to a stray bullet in Plaxico's pants (not this kind, the dangerous kind), and a ghastly loss to the Eagles, and now the Giants are a little dependent on their rear-view mirrors. The G-Men could use a bit of humility, in my humblest opinion of course. Remember them this time last year, severe underdogs, and really a fluke catch away from being that way this year too. Eli is improved but still vulnerable and a loose cannon, and now has lost his only scary receiver. The Giants should go back to their roots and understand that no one coasts to Lombardi trophy.

1) Titans- The Titans are crazy talented and backed by a core of guys named Chris Johnson, Lendale White, Bo Scaife, Cortland Finnigan, Chris Hope, and a dude who stomped on someone's head with cleats. This is a team full of indians and Kerry Collins doesn't seem like the chief that takes this kind of defensive, running team to the promised land. The Titans need leadership on the field that can prevent no-show losses to the Jets, and then the undisciplined outbursts that follow losses. Week 16 and 17 match ups with the Steelers and Colts might be the exact challenge that will draw find a leader from amongst the common men.

Not Not Untitled Field Trip: GW vs. Tennessee Women's Basketball

There were only 3 reasons you could have possibly held a ticket to the George Washington vs. Univ. of Tennessee hoops game tonight: 1) You didn't see the word 'Women's' across the top 2) You are a massive connoisseur of sport 3) You are a lesbian. There simply aren't any other reasons you would have attended the game. However, all those who didn't fit into those three categories (and for the record, I consider myself apart of group 2 but maintain fan-dom of group 3) missed a shockingly and thoroughly unexpected experience.

To start, let me explain that I am an alum of GW and still live relatively proximate to the campus. Furthermore, I live, work, and dream sports so getting a chance to see Pat Summitt (and by association the Lady Vols) was somewhere between a 'must' and a 'Tuesday is a horrible television night.' I wasn't expecting much in terms of points, or excitement, or even fun, but as a sports fan it was my duty to observe a living legend. So I joined up with my GW hoops friends (we all own men's seasons tickets together) and bundled up to brave the cold, mysterious frontier that is DC winter weather and women's college basketball.

Getting to our seats was a challenge in itself. We had to wade through a sea of lesbians. There were enough lesbians (not that there is anything wrong with them) to spawn an softball team, nay, softball league. These lesbians were orange-clad, she-mullet (can we just call them mull-ettes?) coiffed, and boisterous; not the lesbian type privy to IMDB profiles littered with Skinemax cameos.

Speaking of Skinemax, Tennessee's best player is a freshman with a body for basketball success and a name for porn stardom. Let me introduce you to 6'3" Glory Johnson. She is a beast on the court and definitely the next big thing in women's hoops (assuming Candace Parker was the last big thing or that there has ever been a big thing in women's hoops). She rebounds over everyone, sets monstrous picks, and can score against guards or centers. The next time you're at a dinner party and the conversation turns to ladies hoops, drop her name and wow your friends; it's a cant miss.

Meanwhile a funny thing happened on the way to this game being a snoozer, GW showed up to play. Though down eight at halftime, the Colonials brought Pat Summitt and the crowd to their feet on many occasions in the second half. It may not be admirable but I can admit to standing, cheering, screaming (?!?!) for G-Dub to get a few more stops during a run where we brought the deficit to two points before missing a wide open lay up to tie the game. Go figure.

Pat Summitt has 989 career wins and for many reasons I was hoping to be able to say I hadn't seen one of them. Alas I left the gym with a surprising sense of entertainment and re-evaluation of women's sports on the whole. Will I go back to another women's game this year? Its highly unlikely, but even if its one in a million, I'm saying there's a chance.